The Grafted Tree

I was reading in the book today 20 things adoptive parents need to succeed by Sherrie Elderidge, and it talked about adoption like a grafted tree. Ever since last year's state fair, I was fascinated by grafted trees that it was even possible to cut off a part of one tree and basically tape it to a cut piece of another tree and the tree limb that was cut off would grow with the new roots. If you've never heard of grafting look up stephenhayesuk on youtube, he's an old english guy that has a lot of grafting videos and follow ups that are interesting (though long winded :)

Two genetically different trees grafted into one, It's beautiful, yet it also comes with pain. Both the scion (cut tree limb) and the rootstock (already growing tree with roots) need to have been cut for it to work, so they can heal together. Before reading this book I knew adopted kids would intially have pain from loosing their birthparents but I never thought of the adopted parents having pain too. From missing the childs "birth day", missing the first months, not nursing, infertility (for some), not being able to have one's own biological children (for some) etc. I think just being aware of these things will allow us to heal together into a stronger bond when the time comes. I think of our children all of them, like they are already here, wondering how they are, who the birthmother/father are/ will be, what they will look like, what their name will be. -Teisha