It sucks to feel like charity.
To feel as if you do not belong
Like you could almost belong,
if you'd been there all along
If you'd been their's all along
It sucks when you are singled out as an outsider coming in
Because there is one that doesn't look quite like the others.
The one who hasn't always been there
The one who never quite fit into this world, your world.
My world was disorganized and disillusioned.
I didn't have to fix it for You.
I didn't have to be perfect for You.
Because You were perfect
for me.
I am grateful though that you gave your charity.
I sometimes wish that it could have been more anonymous,
but how could it have been
you taught me things I never would have learned and never could have
You changed the course of my life, even though it was never perfect
you helped me feel again.
You showed me what family could be and what a family could never be; Perfect.
Even though where I came from wasn't perfect, I can Change my direction; to focus on what I can do to become my true person not a Victim.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Korean History and Culture (Very Random)
I'm interested in history a lot so recently I have been reading about Korean History. There are not very many books on Korean history at our library, or Asian history in general. One book was on the Korean War and the other was A Concise History on Modern Korea by Michael J. Seth. I was most intrigued by the Chosen/Joseon/Yi dynasty which was from 1392-1910 mostly culture things like the men wearing top knots and civil service exams, the yangban/ the caste system and the Tonghak movement led mostly by peasants against taxes causing the Sino-Japanese War.
I watched a Korean movie that was in the Chosen dynasty right about when the Catholic Missionaries were there and it was really interesting culturally but I'm not going to tell you what it is here because it had some bad scenes in it that I had to fast forward through, it was on instant queue on Netflix.
I also started learning a tiny bit of Korean using the Mango Languages of the Dakota County Library System. The only phrase I can remember well is “Onul Nalshi Jocho” which means “Today the weather is good, isn't it?”
I love the study of Culture, I should become a anthropologist though it isn't worth much in the workforce :) I also spent some time on youtube watching videos on Korean etiquette that I found interesting.
I watched a Korean movie that was in the Chosen dynasty right about when the Catholic Missionaries were there and it was really interesting culturally but I'm not going to tell you what it is here because it had some bad scenes in it that I had to fast forward through, it was on instant queue on Netflix.
I also started learning a tiny bit of Korean using the Mango Languages of the Dakota County Library System. The only phrase I can remember well is “Onul Nalshi Jocho” which means “Today the weather is good, isn't it?”
I love the study of Culture, I should become a anthropologist though it isn't worth much in the workforce :) I also spent some time on youtube watching videos on Korean etiquette that I found interesting.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
To You, My Little One
On my birthday, I cannot help to think about you, my little one:Not born yet or just being born, just a twinkle in your daddy's eye. I bet your mommy loves you; she's just scared. I've been scared before too. Oh how special you are even amoungst 10-20 babies. You are the one and only you. Don't be scared they will take good care of you there, your foster mother and father will love you like their own. You will get to see your first sights tastes and smells of Korea. I hope that I get to meet them, your foster family and perhaps even talk to them on the internet. I want you to know how many people love you. God will be with you, all the time that I cannot be, I'll be with you as soon as I can. In about a year or too we will meet, Don't be worried. Even though we will talk different, smell different and look different, We love you like your foster family. Love you
Thursday, September 16, 2010
POV
Today I watched a movie on PBS's website called In the matter of Cha jung Hee
it is really interesting what had happened to her along the way. How the original girl Cha Jung Hee had parents, a father and it was said that they were dead. With Ok Jin or Deann that she had parents (a mother) that was alive, and was actually trying to look for her when she was a teen. Can these sorts of things happen today? I'm guessing probably not as much since the children will have come from the hospital, to a foster care family. The history in this is the most interesting of all I think, of the Korean war and how they were poor as a country at that time, and how Koreans thought of America as "streets paved with gold" as it says in this film. I wonder if that is the thought over there today, that the birthmothers think that everyone over here has lots of money and it would be better for the children here.
Watch the full episode. See more POV.
it is really interesting what had happened to her along the way. How the original girl Cha Jung Hee had parents, a father and it was said that they were dead. With Ok Jin or Deann that she had parents (a mother) that was alive, and was actually trying to look for her when she was a teen. Can these sorts of things happen today? I'm guessing probably not as much since the children will have come from the hospital, to a foster care family. The history in this is the most interesting of all I think, of the Korean war and how they were poor as a country at that time, and how Koreans thought of America as "streets paved with gold" as it says in this film. I wonder if that is the thought over there today, that the birthmothers think that everyone over here has lots of money and it would be better for the children here.
Living in the City
Old blog I didn't post from early september or late august
I feel like with this blog I might run out of things to talk about before I actually start taking the adoption education classes. I found out today that they do have a Korean school in Mpls. I want my children to know their heritage and where they came from yet I don't do that with my biological children, though maybe we will, We'd have to do a German, Finnish, French, Ojibway, and Korean School. And I wonder what we'll do because we might go to a Korean festival and half the kids won't be Korean, and if we went to a German one half the kids wouldn't be German. One thing that the book that I'm reading talks about is living in a multicultural or multi-ethnicity place (for example the city) that just to see their parents interact with people of other races makes the kids more accepting of themselves as Korean (or whatever their heritage is). Because if everyone is the same like in the suburbs, (same house) (same kids) (same dog) (same ethnicity) then its harder to be different is what the point is in the book. I don't want my kids to be one place minded, but I also don't want them to be ashamed of where they came from. I a lot of times think that I would love to live in the city.
Last weekend me and Nick went to the Uptown art fair and to get there we had to walk by sustainable apartments (I'm not sure exactly what that meant) if they had solar power, made with recycled materials or what, but I was like “we should live there” of course Nick rolled his eyes. I would love for my kids to be in a multicultural area, but also not where there is murders or drug busts next door (though that can still happen around the suburbs) ---- side note: if you think there is any neighborhood in the twin cities that is multicultural and that is good for kids growing up that is a fun place to live let me know :
I feel like with this blog I might run out of things to talk about before I actually start taking the adoption education classes. I found out today that they do have a Korean school in Mpls. I want my children to know their heritage and where they came from yet I don't do that with my biological children, though maybe we will, We'd have to do a German, Finnish, French, Ojibway, and Korean School. And I wonder what we'll do because we might go to a Korean festival and half the kids won't be Korean, and if we went to a German one half the kids wouldn't be German. One thing that the book that I'm reading talks about is living in a multicultural or multi-ethnicity place (for example the city) that just to see their parents interact with people of other races makes the kids more accepting of themselves as Korean (or whatever their heritage is). Because if everyone is the same like in the suburbs, (same house) (same kids) (same dog) (same ethnicity) then its harder to be different is what the point is in the book. I don't want my kids to be one place minded, but I also don't want them to be ashamed of where they came from. I a lot of times think that I would love to live in the city.
Last weekend me and Nick went to the Uptown art fair and to get there we had to walk by sustainable apartments (I'm not sure exactly what that meant) if they had solar power, made with recycled materials or what, but I was like “we should live there” of course Nick rolled his eyes. I would love for my kids to be in a multicultural area, but also not where there is murders or drug busts next door (though that can still happen around the suburbs) ---- side note: if you think there is any neighborhood in the twin cities that is multicultural and that is good for kids growing up that is a fun place to live let me know :
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